FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
While most of us aren’t professional actors, but we tend to be good at acting under
certain circumstances. One among those is managing emotions that we express to other people
at work. Emotional labor is universal part of every job. You can surface act being polite, however
deep down you really are spitting nails. Surface acting is faking your emotions in the sense there
is a huge difference between what you show and what you feel. When we engage in surface
acting we intentionally portray emotions that we aren’t currently feeling. The degree of surface
acting varies based on the type of work you do.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “Fake it till you make it”. But is this a sound advice?
Trying to act positive and happy when you actually feel tired and moody is absolutely grueling.
Surface acting at work place is associated with a host of negative feelings such as decreased job
satisfaction and burn out.
Yes, surface acting really exists – at work, at home, in the neighborhood grocery store
and it’s nearly always shouldered by women. The reason of course the unpaid labor which is
performed by women. Many women’s jobs don’t end when they leave the office. They are often
responsible for care taking for their children and handling the household chores. Studies show
that women shoulder majority of responsibilities in relationships, both in our career and at
home. Not only women are underpaid across professions, but much of this invisible work
known as “emotional labor” goes uncompensated and unrecognized. Vital jobs like taking care
of the children and the other tasks that come with them, like picking them up from school,
caring for elderly parents, managing household expenses and completing chores like cleaning
and cooking become women’s responsibilities. But emotion shows weakness. It exposes you as
woman.
So what’s the outcome of surface acting? Am I able to please everyone? How efficient I
am in hiding my emotions? It’s like; I am exhausted after a day at the office, being cheery when I
actually had insomnia the night before. I am tired of putting on that smile to the nonsense
conversations in the office. I have also seen some women who aren’t efficient enough to mask
their emotions, they just burst out! But if anyone is to evaluate the gender stereotypes of
emotions they may lead to a biased evaluation. Because women are seen as less able to control
the emotions and they expose their emotions outwardly compared to men. This gender biased
evaluation is a barrier to women’s ability to obtain and succeed in leadership roles.
All we can do to overcome this is to develop certain skills to handle emotions. For
example self knowledge – knowing one’s own emotions and the relationship they have with our
thoughts and actions. Contradictory as these realities may seem, they indeed co-exist. So accept
the complexity of emotional labor. We can handle our emotions by these two methods-
1. Surface Acting – Changing your emotional display but inside you don’t feel the same.
2. Deep Acting – Changing your underlying emotions to portray the changed emotion
authentically. But be careful, all day authentically expressing all of your frustration and
disagreement at your workplace could get ugly and may put you in trouble. Solution is to
constantly monitor and consciously try to update the emotions you are expressing.